Vent Journal

Have you ever blown up at your partner or gone on a rant to a friend, only to wish you hadn’t shown such an ugly side later? We all need to vent, but dumping all those intense, messy emotions on someone else’s shoulders isn’t always fair.

If you’re feeling angry, resentful, or especially judgmental, journaling is a great way to release those emotions without passing them on to someone else. Go ahead—complain as much as you want about whatever’s bothering you, whether it’s a person, a situation, or even your pet! (We’ve all had those days.) If you feel like giving someone a piece of your mind, do it in writing instead of face-to-face. You’ll get the relief of venting without the regret of consequences later.

Once you’ve cooled off, go back and read what you wrote. Most of the time, you’ll cringe at how much power you gave that person or situation over your emotions. It’s an eye-opener, and helps you regain perspective. This kind of journaling lets you step back, see things more clearly, and even figure out a better way to communicate if you feel you still need to address the issue once you’ve cooled down..

Self-Pity vs. Self-Compassion

This one is a game-changer for anyone dealing with shame. A lot of times, when we’re hard on ourselves, we end up being hard on others too. If you struggle to show compassion to others, it’s probably because you haven’t been very compassionate with yourself. You might tell yourself to stop whining, get it together, or keep pushing through. Eventually, you burn out, and that inner bully turns into a voice of self-pity, convincing you the world’s against you and no one cares. It’s not true, but it sure feels that way when you’ve been neglecting your own feelings.

How we talk to ourselves directly affects how we treat others. Being kind to yourself isn’t selfish; it’s the kindest thing you can do for the people around you. It makes it easier to access empathy and patience in tough situations.

Starting a “Self-Pity vs. Self-Compassion” journal is like becoming your own best friend and counselor. When you notice you’re being too hard on yourself or spiraling into self-pity, give yourself permission to write it all down. Be as whiny, frustrated, or bitter as you need to be in the moment—this is your space to let it out. Once you’ve vented, follow it up with a self-compassion entry, where you gently reframe the situation from a kinder perspective. (It helps to walk away and come back when you’re feeling less reactive for the compassionate entry.) Think of it as how a good friend might offer you a more grounded, understanding view when you need it most.

This practice doesn’t just help you feel better; it strengthens the way you relate to yourself and others. You’ll find it becomes easier to be patient with your own struggles and to approach difficult moments with a sense of grace.

Here’s what it might look like:

Self-Pity:
“Why does everything feel like such a battle? I can never catch a break, and nothing ever goes my way. I’m just so tired of trying so hard and getting nowhere.”

Self-Compassion:

“It’s completely normal to feel drained when life feels like an uphill climb. It’s hard to feel like your efforts are unnoticed or unappreciated, but that doesn’t mean they don’t matter. This is a long game, and the key is staying true to your values and showing up for yourself, even when it feels thankless. Take pride in your persistence. Your efforts will make a difference in the long run. It’s okay to feel tired and discouraged—it’s also okay to rest when you need to, in order to come back stronger for the next day.”

Creativity Journal/Lists

Do you ever feel like your brain is swarming with too many ideas, and you’re trying to juggle them all at once because they’re all important? Getting them out and organized can be a relief.

I love this quote from Warren Beatty about how he decides when to make a movie: “I compare making a movie to vomiting. I don’t like to vomit. It builds up and it builds up until something happens and I think, ‘Maybe I’ll just feel better if I throw up.’”

I so relate to that. Ideas and tasks can feel like flies buzzing around your head—whether it’s that work project you need to finish, a new hobby you want to start, a recipe you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t shopped for yet, a dentist appointment you keep putting off, or a creative solution to a problem that’s been nagging you for weeks. It’s hard to focus when your mind is filled with all these distractions.

For me, getting these kind of ideas out of my head and into a list or journal lets me stop mentally swatting them away and get back to the present moment. I dump everything into notes on my phone. Later, when I have time to focus, I can go back and organize everything—either into to-do lists or a documents to expand on them further.

Check In Journal

The last type of journaling I find helpful is for when I don’t really have much to say—and honestly, that’s a good thing. About once a week, if I haven’t needed to use my venting or compassion journals, I’ll check in here and jot down a few sentences, or even just a quick note. It can be something as simple as, “busy but good,” or “we laughed a lot this week.” Not every journal entry needs to be deep or eloquently written.

It’s about reminding yourself that things are okay, and sometimes even better than okay. If you’re only writing about the tough days, it’s easy to believe that’s all there is. But by pausing to recognize when things are good—or even just fine—you’ll be better equipped to see the hard times for what they are: tough, but temporary.